The Importance of Presence

I have been thinking a lot lately on presence.  Defined as, the state or fact of EXISTING, occurring, or being present in a place or thing. If I could pick one major value I have as a parent and as a person in general, presence is it.

I believe that if we could simply become more present, intentional and authentic with our lives- we would encounter so much less stress, anxiety and pain. I could write for days on all three of those, but today is about  presence.

I have been thinking about this often because the more present I work to become (and believe  me, I do have to work at it), the more I notice the lack of awareness surrounding me. We tend to think we are experiencing moments by taking photos, posting, sharing etc.  And don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy those things, but there is a line that dances with the devil.

Image result for Presence quotes

Immediately following the horrific shooting at Parkland High school, I was working in a coffee shop as I often do, and that particular day I was feeling pretty heartbroken, helpless and really just lost. As I was working, I was observing families and people coming in and out whether sitting down with a friend or grabbing breakfast or lunch with their kids. And something continued to happen that literally made me so upset that I ended up just needing to leave because it was shaking me to my core.

I was at that coffee shop for 5 HOURS and every single family that came in that day, was not present with the people they were with.  Not ONE. I am not exaggerating. This is a problem.  This is an epidemic.

There were friends that sat down for coffee and would chat for a few minutes, not really listen to the other person, interject or interrupt with their own thoughts before the other one finished and then check their phone- repeat.

Image result for putting down the screen

The parents that came with their children, all different ages from toddlers to teenagers would sit and eat their food and scroll on their phone.  Muttering a few words here and there but then right back to their screens.  Probably checking an email they thought was important.  Probably scrolling on Facebook.  Probably shopping online.  Or maybe taking a photo to post on social media about how much they love spending time with their kids…yet THEY ARE NOT EVEN THERE.  And several times, if a child got fussy and anxious, as children do, a phone was shoved into their face.  What in the actual hell is happening here.

I notice these things all the time.  I fight the urge myself.  But this particular day, it really got to me.  Just the day before, 17 families lost the ability to ever have a meal with their child/friend/parent ever again.  Yet here we sit, hours after knowing that, and we cannot even look our own loved ones in the face and enjoy them?  We are severely lacking presence, which leads to lacking awareness, which also leads to lacking the ability to sense if something is wrong around us, whether that be within our own hearts, within our families or others who need us. Even if those ‘others’ are strangers.

A similar situation struck me when I was in an airport recently.  I was standing in line approaching security and there was an abrupt announcement made saying that they were going to bring dogs in as a security measure and “please do not acknowledge them or pet them, let them sniff you if need be”.  Okay no big deal, this happens all the time.

There was a family in front of me that had three kids, two older possibly in high school, one boy in middle school, maybe younger.  I noticed right away that the younger boy became visibly anxious at this announcement.  He looked up to his parents or siblings for re-assurance but they were all…you guessed it…looking at their phones.  As the dogs continued to walk around near us, I kept seeing the boy get more anxious and continuously look up at his parents to no avail.  This only went on for about 5-7 minutes but my GOD I could feel his pain and it felt like an eternity, I so wanted to help him, to just give him a hug. I kept watching him, desperately hoping he would look at me and make eye contact so I could assure him, “it’s all good buddy, this happens all the time, nothing to be scared of!”  I still regret not being more assertive and telling him that.

How many of those small moments are we missing?  Those moments when somebody really needs us, is going through something, but we miss it entirely. I can tell you one thing, we are missing a lot with our kids.  I can see it happening every where I go.  I know we cannot possibly catch everything, but I think we are missing more than we are catching and our kids our suffering because of it.

Guys, I’ve been there.  On long days at work or with my kiddos, I will check my Instagram feed to see what everybody else is doing as a way to “decompress” (which is a joke because it does the exact opposite for your brain).  I will respond to a text message that really does NOT need to be responded to immediately.  Or the most often for me, I am having a moment with my girls that I truly am enjoying and then I feel the need to take a picture and share it.  I am NOT innocent and I have to constantly fight the urge to look at my phone, I have taken Facebook and Email off it a long time ago to better work on my presence. But we all have to fight harder I think.  There are people that need us and we literally cannot see it because we are too busy, too clouded and too focused on ourselves and our screens.  We are all hurting and we all need connection, real connection.

Image may contain: 4 people

The question I have been asking myself a lot  lately is “How can I make this world better?  What can I do to help?”  The answer tends to ring back pretty loudly: love your kids, love your family, love your neighbors, love your community and BE the change.

If we all did that in our small corner of the world, I really do think we could change our trajectory, but we have to first work on being present.  Did you read this on your phone?  Great, now put it down, Look around, listen to the rain, take a few deep breaths and let your thoughts sink in,  it might be uncomfortable, but let yourself BE.  This is where the work begins.

12 Comments

  • Nicole

    Love this Jill it happens at the salon on many occasions I so bad want to put no use of cell phones sign in the salon. Lol
    Thanks for sharing

  • Blog Panduan Bermain Sbobet

    An impressive share! I have just forwarded this onto a co-worker who was doing a little
    homework on this. And he actually ordered me lunch simply because I found it
    for him… lol. So allow me to reword this…. Thank YOU for the meal!!
    But yeah, thanx for spending time to discuss this topic here on your web
    page.

  • judi sbobet

    Sbobet is a trusted gambling site that operates to bolster all fans of online gambling in the world.
    Founded in 2010, it didn’t tolerate long for Sbobet to become the biggest online site in Asia
    and past it comes to the amount of betting maintenance that rotates all week, Sbobet is plus one of
    the biggest sites in the world.

    Sbobet is unconditionally popular, especially in the course of Asian bettors,
    the excuse is that the site has been awarded as the best gambling operator for two years in a row.
    It offers a variant of football betting in the manner of agreed low margins later compared
    to further sites in its class.

  • depoxito

    The best in class, Depoxito find the money for you high-end
    experience that lecture to the see and character
    of legitimate VIP standarts, we pay for you the best interesting to
    high-level experience of VIPs expect in any top stop casino, grand
    stimulate casino royale provide you the other studio
    design element including the grand blackjack, offering our VIP Customer the best experience
    of a Salon privee table.
    New style table after that feature across the
    room in imitation of grand roulette upgraded upon our provider playtechs mini prestige roulette which
    delivering more fascinating and richer playing experience.
    The new experience contains a sum of seven tables including five blackjack tables, one roulette table and one baccarat table.
    Grand enliven casino royale has been high hand-engineered to fit the needs
    of our customer to using it, and contains unique elements that is specially designed
    to maximize the impact value we got from our customers and diversify
    it to the existing network.
    Soon, Depoxito will build an bigger authenticity technology upon flesh and blood casino for our VIP member,
    these most highly developed technology ever seen in live casino including this enlarged reality.
    Which permit players to experience products on an entire other level which is never seen in the
    past literally leaping out of the game and taking the blackjack,
    baccarat, roulette and other game into the amassed entire
    level.
    Depoxito VIP Baccarat, we pay for you the utterly exclusive breathing
    VIP Baccarat that is played considering taking place to 7 players at the thesame table and our deeply trained beautiful conscious baccarat
    dealer. And of course our VIP aficionado will air as if they were in point of
    fact sitting at one of the summit casino baccarat table.
    This immersive gaming experience creates a hugely exciting manner that our VIP players will find difficult to surpass.

    Here is the list of stir casino game that depoxito provide, we pay
    for the widest range of stir casino games on the
    spread around including : blackjack unlimited, blackjack prestige, roulette, baccarat, poker,
    hi-lo, sic bo, and grand living casino royale such as Grand Baccarat, Grand Blackjack and Grand Roulette for our VIP
    member. And of course as a aficionado of Depoxito you can enjoy all
    the games that we have the funds for to you, every you habit to
    reach is just visit our site depoxito and register it abandoned takes going on to 3 minutes and after that youre adequate to perform
    any game that you want.
    Be our VIP, innate our VIP advocate of course established you the
    best encouragement you can acquire from us all you infatuation to be a VIP
    member is unquestionably easy. every you infatuation is just save playing on our site, enlargement and proceed afterward
    a VIP in the manner of the amount that our company had written, save playing and
    our customer advance will entre you that you are promoted to become a VIP zealot upon our
    site.

  • Daftar Link Alternatif

    Alternate Link l69
    L69 is probably the official sites that supply the most recent alternative link reliable online betting sites.
    L69 provides more than just one alternative link from every betting site, and we
    all here have become one of the most comprehensive alternative link companies and the
    L69 internet site includes a responsive display of which makes it easy
    for you to access our site from the display of your own device or laptop.
    Plus what you should know is that we here have only just one official link, l69.
    myself and if there are usually other websites that offer information or call our website is
    not our official site.
    Ball gambling and casino gambling usually are forms of games that are very
    well-liked by the folks regarding Indonesia. Why l69?
    Since we have been here for a lot more than five years and have become the trust of the men and women of Dalam
    negri as a place to perform soccer gambling and in addition online casino gambling.
    Itself has additionally obtained a license through the Asian and Western european governments last season to
    become an online gambling gambling provider site in Asia
    and Europe. By offering many different types of
    wagering bets that may be played on one ID, much more the particular members
    feel happy enjoying in your bookie.
    Advantages of Alternative Links l69
    Yet sadly lately there usually are many members who experience problems and problems whenever entering into
    their Bola tangkas game for the reason that Sbobet web site is frequently
    blocked and several aged sites have been clogged by the Indonesian authorities
    and not a few usually are also affected by what is called the Newsletter Project.
    The Indonesian government these days is struggling
    to get rid of links or paths to gain access
    to sites that smell of pornography, gambling and there are many other content of which is deemed inappropriate.

  • Depobola

    The most effective and Most Trusted On-line Sbobet Agent
    Playing upon gambling online sites has become a familiar thing with regard to fans
    of this sport to use their luck. Specifically in a rustic that prohibits
    all kinds of gambling actions such as Indonesia, Sbobet agents are increasingly mushrooming and are becoming a new popular alternative
    for gamblers to channel their hobbies and interests safely.

    In modern times, bettors no longer require far to Las Las vegas
    or Macau to look for bookies. Only with a home computer
    or perhaps laptop, even more easy, smartphone and internet community,
    whoever and wherever a person are, can immediately enjoy online gambling comfortably plus freely.

    Indeed, finding a trusted Sbobet agent to be used like a perform partner
    is a tricky problem. With so many sites offering a
    selection of attractive features in addition to promos, it’s
    difficult to be able to distinguish which ones really provide professional services in addition to which kinds are
    bogus.

    Most people will select the biggest gambling site directly that is chosen by
    the particular bettor, however the drawback is usually required a big deposit to register / join the particular game.

    Even some folks, there are those who discover it difficult if an individual have to play on websites that use
    English.

    Ultimately, the players, especially inside Indonesia, inevitably have in order to find an Indonesian gambling online agent who certainly offers international quality
    games and it is able to provide typically the best service but on the other hand can provide the reassurance of playing in addition to will not make a busted wallet.

    Tips for Selecting a Trusted Soccer Gambling Real estate agent
    There are several huge names online that you should choose from as play
    partners. Between Depobola. This agent will be arguably the biggest betting promoter in Indonesia
    who else has served its users for years. Listed below are typically the reasons why Depobola is very popular like a reliable Sbobet Indonesia agent.

    day to day Customer Support
    The very first feature you must have got is having CS or perhaps Customer
    Support that is usually always online at just about
    all times. This is meant to ensure that the comfort in addition to
    overall flexibility of members when playing always awake.

    Any kind of difficulties and confusion experienced by players can become immediately resolved with the
    help of Customer Support who can always be contacted for twenty-four
    hours straight. And avoid agents whose customer support
    is difficult to contact, it could be that typically the site
    is fraudulent.
    Secure & Fast Financial Purchases
    Not all trusted sports gambling agents have a great financial transaction system.
    Several of them require very a long time, even up to days
    and cannot guarantee the security of their customers whenever transacting.

    Unlike the situation together with Depobola. Financial transactions this
    kind of as deposits, withdrawals, plus transfers can be carried
    out in just minutes and of course use a high-level home security alarm.
    In addition, the process can end up being carried out easily because it
    has worked strongly with assorted major banks inside the country.

    Various kinds of Video games
    If in the previous gambling only struggled close to
    lottery and soccer wagering, now Depobola provides exciting innovations by presenting the variety of interesting plus
    fun games. Not just as a possible agent of Bola tangkas Online, variations of cards
    games for example poker or perhaps dominoes, casino games this kind of as roulette or baccarat, to the slots provided.

    All game products are sure to have grade-A top quality
    as they are provided by top gaming providers such because Sbobet, Maxbet while
    others. Just at Depobola, gambling online provides the most complete online game purchasing a new you
    can invest time without feeling uninterested.

    Attractive Promos and Bonus deals
    The last tip for choosing the best site will be to make certain that
    the internet site offers a sizable selection regarding promos and bonuses of
    which are a shame in the event you miss them.
    This function will make the game easier plus more fun.
    Depobola has prepared various advertisements and
    bonuses that can be obtained by users in a fairly easy way.
    For example , like a welcome added bonus promo,
    where you only require to register as the member, then you certainly automatically have got the right to be able
    to get the bonus.
    There usually are still many other promos made available
    from the best Depobola providers. Therefore, don’t wait any longer and immediately sign-up yourself
    now to join with countless other people to feel the enjoyment of playing with Trustworthy Online Sbobet agents
    inside Indonesia.

  • agen Joker123 terpercaya

    Not only provides soccer gambling and sports betting games, Betberry will be also one of the particular most trusted Joker123 brokers in Indonesia that
    will be chosen by countless wagering fans every day.
    With all the Trusted Joker123 Agent, you can enjoy hundreds of unique games from the online
    casino, slot and game groups that are currently extremely popular with players in the world, namely shooting fish.

    You should know that Joker123 or Joker Gaming is one associated with
    the biggest online bookies in Asia, that has dished up millions of players with
    international standard games plus operates under official licenses.
    On the site joker123 also provides various
    varieties of casino gambling in addition to
    slot games, as properly as fish shooting or even fish hunter
    games that are their mainstay games.

    Not only a complete game, Joker123 also comes with attractive features like the following:

    Casino Joker123
    With regard to those of you that want to feel a new new sensation in actively playing casino gambling, with typically the official Joker123 agent Betberry you may play gambling
    live! This implies you will become playing in a real-time casino gambling system plus served by beautiful dealers
    that you can interact with. Not only the fun of playing casino gambling, but here
    you also get the atmosphere like actively playing in a gambling house directly in Las Vegas!

    Joker123 Online Slots
    Many individuals choose joker123 slot betting since the game is simple in addition to doesn’t require a
    lots of effort like casino video games or soccer betting.
    Yet a game won’t be fun whether it doesn’t consist of challenges,
    right? At the Trusted Joker123 Agent an individual can challenge yourself to be able to reach
    the biggest progressive jackpot the location where the
    number regarding jackpots will continue to enhance whenever until the participant can get it.

    Capture the Joker123 fish
    This particular one is actually a fairly new game but has previously attracted the
    attention of millions of gambling players around the world.
    Feel the exciting sensation of playing capturing fish with abundant prizes.
    In this game you will not play alone because this game can end up being played by
    up to 8 players concurrently. Show your skills and accomplish maximum
    victory in typically the game Fish Hunter Joker123.

  • agen indonesia

    pleasing to Mabosbola, one of the best Indonesian Sbobet agents
    past 2010. Mabosbola.com is Indonesia’s largest Sbobet site that
    will be next to you to international gambling game services.
    in imitation of several world sites, Mabosbola is an agent site that gives you full admission to various gambling game
    categories.

    In supporting the facilities and comfort of our members, Mabosbola is always glad to present
    satisfaction to members who trust us as Sbobet Indonesia agents.
    Various popoler gambling betting markets upon Sbobet and after that Maxbet and many others.
    We maintain our title as master agent because of our good perform
    both in terms of bolster and fast payment. Not to forget as
    well as our role as a betting exchange for the world
    cup and the Euro as well.

  • Www.Depoxitovip.net

    The best in class, Depoxito find the money for you high-end
    experience that refer the look and mood of valid VIP standarts,
    we come up with the money for you the best glamorous to
    high-level experience of VIPs expect in any summit end casino, grand liven up casino royale provide you the further studio design element including the grand blackjack, offering our
    VIP Customer the best experience of a Salon privee table.

    New style table with feature across the room behind grand
    roulette upgraded upon our provider playtechs mini prestige roulette which delivering more engaging and richer playing experience.
    The other experience contains a sum of seven tables including five blackjack tables,
    one roulette table and one baccarat table. Grand stimulate casino royale has been high hand-engineered to fit the needs of our
    customer to using it, and contains unique elements
    that is specially expected to maximize the impact value we
    got from our customers and diversify it to the existing network.

    Soon, Depoxito will manufacture an better certainty technology on conscious casino
    for our VIP member, these most highly developed technology ever
    seen in living casino including this augmented reality. Which allow players to
    experience products on an entire extra level which is never seen since literally leaping out of the game and taking the blackjack, baccarat, roulette and other game into the
    total entire level.
    Depoxito VIP Baccarat, we meet the expense of
    you the utterly exclusive conscious VIP Baccarat that is played gone taking place to 7 players at the similar table and our intensely trained beautiful live baccarat dealer.
    And of course our VIP advocate will quality as if they were in fact sitting at one of the summit casino
    baccarat table. This immersive gaming experience creates a hugely carefree reveal that
    our VIP players will find hard to surpass.
    Here is the list of sentient casino game that depoxito provide,
    we give the widest range of enliven casino games upon the promote including :
    blackjack unlimited, blackjack prestige, roulette, baccarat,
    poker, hi-lo, sic bo, and grand conscious casino royale such as Grand Baccarat, Grand Blackjack and Grand Roulette for our VIP member.
    And of course as a advocate of Depoxito you can enjoy every the games that we have the funds
    for to you, all you infatuation to get is
    just visit our site depoxito and register it deserted takes going on to 3 minutes and
    after that youre pleasing to comport yourself any game that you want.

    Be our VIP, subconscious our VIP advocate of course approved you the best encourage you can acquire from
    us all you craving to be a VIP fanatic is completely easy.
    every you dependence is just save playing on our site,
    growth and decree as soon as a VIP in the same way as the amount that
    our company had written, keep playing and our customer sustain will right
    of entry you that you are promoted to become a VIP
    devotee upon our site.

  • Situsalternatif

    Alternate Links to Recognized Online Gambling Sites
    Now in an all-sophisticated era, everyone can access the internet very easily.
    Until now many online games that may be enjoyed by everyone, one example is internet gambling games.
    With the appointment of gambling that used to be only on land,
    now an online system has made it super easy for many wagering players
    to station their hobbies in the world of internet gambling.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.