LESS than 8 weeks to go!

Is this real life? Less than 8 weeks to go until we have a real live human? I have not written in a while because well…things have been crazy.  Yes, I know insert your surprised face here. Jill? Busy? Shocker of the century.  Between the usual craziness of the fall season in admission, finishing up our house projects and then the other to do list of things to get ready for this baby specifically, every minute of every weeknight and weekend has been accounted for. Except for Friday nights when Shain and I are dead to the world and fall asleep on the couch by 9pm.  We laugh when people say things like “Oh just wait, your social life will go downhill when you have a kid.”  Social life…riiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Wyatt preggo

Anyways, here is a little pregnancy update for you.  Honest to goodness I have been SO blessed.  SO BLESSED.  Those of you who have read my previous blogs know, the first trimester was really hard for me.  I did not get sick or anything like that, but I was really depressed, anxious, emotionally unstable and of course exhausted.  I was truly worried it was going to be a long road for me, but thankfully around week 18 that all dried up.  Weeks 19-21 were a little tough physically because when I started to pop, I felt a lot of cramping pain and pressure which made it difficult to workout/run.  However, once I got past 22 weeks that also went away which was GREAT!

Now I am at 32 weeks, trucking along and feeling good. I don’t have a lot of aches or pains, some here and there that freak me out a little at times but for the most part I am still pretty comfortable.  I have been consistent with working out 5-6 days a week mixing in running, crossfit, yoga, spin etc.  My pace is of course that of a turtle and my strength is steadily decreasing, but that is cool! I just feel so thankful I am still able to get up and get moving.  I am really hoping it will help with my delivery and recovery.

32weeks

SHAIN even ran a 5k WITH me this past weekend! Can you believe that? Anybody that knows my husband knows he is not a runner.  He is an active guy, former football player, dedicated lifter but hates all things cardio. HATES.  He was even smiling at the end! I also happen to think it is a bit unfair that he could do a 5k with zero training and not have to walk any of it.  But I digress.

Shain 5k

I will admit that I always thought the hardest part of being pregnant would be the physical aspects.  Gaining weight, feeling uncomfortable etc. which surprisingly has not been that bad.  Different yes, but not bad. I am blessed with a positive body image, so the fact that I am growing by the day is of course weird and hard to get used to but honest to goodness it does not bother me too much.  Sometimes it throws me off when I catch my self in the mirror…WHOA!  Or when I see a picture like the one above somebody took of me running…WOOF.  For the record, I still love this picture.  My husband is running with me, it makes my heart happy.

All in all, I am not indulging in junk food everyday and I am staying active.  So I feel good about the growth that is happening as it is all part of this beautifully bizarre process.

Aside from becoming more difficult to sleep through the night, the part that has been the hardest of this pregnancy is the worry. The “is she okay in there?” thought that comes into my head every 5 minutes.  I pray every night that I can safely carry this baby into the world and that I am not doing anything to harm her.  It is extremely difficult sharing a body with a little being who you already worry and care so much about.  You have to think about every thing you do in a different way and THAT has been the hardest, mentally exhausting actually.  Do I follow all the crazy pregnancy rules? No, because I really do think some of them are flat out crazy.  But I still worry…A LOT.  And from what I understand, that worry won’t stop once she is a real little human in this world, it will get worse! Yikes.

So here is to hoping these next 8 weeks continue to be smooth sailing. Stay blessed in the mess 🙂

 

 

Still hoping, still dreaming.

The dreamer in me is feeling a little bummed out this week.  I received the official news recently that once again I did NOT make the registration cut for the Boston Marathon.

For those of you who are confused by this, let me explain.  Despite the fact that I finally reached my goal of running a Boston qualifying marathon time in 2014, it still did not guarantee me a spot in the Boston Marathon.  The time I needed to qualify was a 3:35 and I ran a 3:34:54.  In the past, all who qualified for Boston got in even those like myself who barely made the cut.  However, in the past few years the running community has increased, gotten faster AND the desire to run Boston since the bombing has been huge; so the last two years they were not able to accept everybody who qualified due to the large amount of qualifiers and field size limitations. Therefore, the fastest got priority.  Last year was one of those years and so was this year- go figure right?  My time was good for two years, so despite being heartbroken from not getting in last year, I was hopeful that this year I would have a chance. Not so much.  This means if I want to run in the Boston Marathon, I will need to go back to the drawing board and run another qualifying time. I plan on doing so, I plan on getting faster.

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Receiving the confirmation that I did not get in brought back all kinds of negative feelings and thoughts of not being good enough.  I was not born a natural athlete by any means. No matter if it was on the cross country & track team or soccer field I have always had to work much harder than my peers to barely be at their level.  This has done enormous things for my character growing up and truly taught me the meaning of work ethic and perseverance.  But I would be lying if I told you it didn’t break my spirit sometimes to work so hard and still come up short.

I had two big things I really wanted to cross off my list before Shain and I started on our journey of having a family. Run the Boston Marathon and and go on a solo international hiking trip.  I thought I had it all planned out.  I thought it was going to work.  But it is no news to anybody that life does not always work according to plan.

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I had booked a trip to Peru for this past May but due to everything going on with selling our house, buying a new one and finding out I was pregnant- I had to cancel it.  I was elated to find out we were expecting, don’t get me wrong.  The day I took my pregnancy test I was alone at home and I literally started dancing and jumping around in the hallway like a little kid.  But a part of me was also sad that the person who could book a trip on a whim or could dedicate hours and hours a week to training for a race/marathon/whatever- would not be the same. This little person who I already love so much is going to change everything.

Now, despite not being a mom yet I am not the person who believes that life ends once your family starts. I know life will change drastically.  I will give everything to my family, I have felt ready to be a Mom for a long time now.  I believe in putting my children first, but I will not sacrifice who I am, that would be a shame. How is my little girl to learn what hard work and perseverance look like? She will watch her dad travel all over the country working his butt off in his day job so that he can support us and she will probably tag along on weekends to help him work on his house-rehab projects, just like he did as a kid with his Dad.  She will watch her mom finally run that Boston Marathon that she trained for in the wee early morning hours or evenings when she was sleeping (fingers crossed on the sleeping part).  Maybe when she is old enough she will even travel the world with me on all kinds of adventures. This little girl will feel all the love and support in the world, but also watch her parents go after what they want and hopefully she will then learn to do the same.

Yes, the dreamer in me is a little saddened this week.  But as I am typing this, my baby is kicking away in my belly and I tell you what- that has got to be one of the best feelings ever.  I may not have hiked to the top of a mountain this year or run a fast enough marathon, but God gave me the talent to create a life and that is something I will never take for granted.

Stay blessed in the mess 🙂