Do you have an overwhelmed schedule…and an underwhelmed soul?

As I am sitting here at my kitchen table on this gloomy and cold Monday morning, I am thankful.  Thankful that I am not rushing through my house to get ready for work, that my mind is not heavy with my long to do list.  I am finally (almost) caught up and I have this whole week off work.  Much needed.

Do you ever get anxiety just by looking at your calendar?  Every single day filled.  Work (with its own overwhelming schedule), kids practices, lessons, school work, meetings, social events on the weekends (that you can’t say no to because you already said no to the last 5), family celebrations and events…it NEVER ENDS.  I often battle with the guilt of not wanting to go to all these things, because most of them are with people I love dearly, they are things I WANT to do.  But I am just so tired.  Tired of being ON all the time.  Tired of not being able to enjoy my cozy house, tired of not having time with my Husband or heck alone time with myself!

sunrise

Why do we do this to ourselves?  Why has such a schedule become so normal? Why do we BRAG about how busy we are? And when you DO have free time you think something must be wrong, “I must be forgetting something”. Or maybe you feel like its wrong because  your kids need to be signed up for everything under the sun if they are going get better at soccer, gymnastics, piano…whatever it is.  To keep up with everybody else, we jump in on the madness.  Shain and I don’t even have kids yet and already I feel like we have no time.  Between our work load alone, we are already spent.

overwhelmed

A life like this leaves us with an overwhelming schedule…and an underwhelmed soul.  Are the things we are doing truly important?  Do they line up with our values?  With our goals?  If the answer is no…STOP DOING THEM. We have to put an end to this.  I strongly believe this is not the way we are meant to live our lives.  This is not the way God wants us to live our lives.  He wants us to spend more time with family, with him, more time reflecting on ourselves, more time to feed our souls, to become better people, better parents, spouses etc.  Or to just lead a simple, but fulfilling life.  Simple is OKAY.

Have you ever had one of those moments where there have been weeks and weeks where you are go-go-go-go and then you have a minute, just a minute to yourself for the first time…and you break down?  And you have no idea why?  This one of many signs that you are neglecting your soul.  We don’t even give ourselves time to think anymore.  The downtime we have is spent staring at our phones, checking our email, or letting our mind move on to the next task…rarely do we just listen to our thoughts or take in the beautiful world and people around us.

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Lest’ put a STOP to this! Stop feeling guilty about all your “obligations”.  Stop thinking you have to go to every gathering you are invited to.  Saying “NO” and not filling you schedule is a commitment in itself. You have to constantly re-set yourself.  Don’t agree to things right away, always take 24 hours to think about it. I have always struggled with this, but I have come a long way.  And I know the reason I struggled is I used to hate being alone.  It terrified me to not have another human with me at all times, to be doing SOMETHING with somebody.  Because when I was alone, things I never dealt with came to life, and that was scary. Now that I have overcome some of those inner-demons over the years, I CRAVE that alone time to reflect, write, pray or just be.  It is a necessity for my soul.

I challenge you this holiday season to do the same.  Don’t just feed your schedule, feed your soul.

Stay BLESSED in the mess 🙂

“vacation”

Since my marathon…(oh ya know over two months ago) I have been having a little “vacation”.  No, not the tropical beach kind..the kind of vacation that makes you want to stay as far away as possible from a tropical beach and bathing suits, actually.  I have taken a vacation from training hard, eating super clean and overall just being a no fun tight a$$ who is obsessed with her goals.  Now, before you judge me let me just say that my version of this is probably not that bad (but in my head it is).   I still make all my meals for the week on Sundays and I still am starting the day with a workout and a protein shake.   But … if it was somebody’s birthday in the office and they brought cake, I ate it.  If we went out to dinner, I destroyed the bread and butter before our meal.  I am only doing one workout a day (gasp).  I have made weekly trips to Walgreens to pick up some DOTS and Sour patch kids just because I felt like seeing if I could finish both boxes in the mile drive back home.  I may or may not have had some kind of alcoholic  drink almost every single night for a few weeks straight (fall is also a very stressful time of year, okay!?). It has been nice to not be on a strict regimen and be human.  Being human can be fun.

I have run a handful of times, but not much.  Poor Wyatt is bursting with energy right now due to our lack of running routine.  This  is usually the time of year where he can go for miles and miles.  Sorry, buddy.  Long walks will have to do for now.

wyattfall2

I did do my two usual Fall 5ks though, and it turns out 5ks can hurt as bad as a marathon if you are not running much.  Who knew?  My Dad and Stepmom have made the tradition of coming out for the Fraidykat 5k in Oswego which is always fun.  We all run it and then enjoy breakfast by Shain after, perfection.  Despite not running and despite feeling like my lungs were on fire, I pulled out second female for this race with a 20:52.  I was pretty pleased!  In my prime MAYBE I could have gotten a hold of that 13 year old ahead of me…maybe.

 

fraidykat

Then my brother and I always do the Veterans day run in Westchester, it is our little sibling tradition.  I kind of hate his natural running ability.  He never runs (except for this race once a year) and still pulls out a 24 minute 5k.  And that was not even his fastest ever!  Jerk!

ben5k

 

I took home first female for this race, no PR again but still pleased with a sub 21.  Burning lungs made an appearance as well.

veterans day run

That has been the extent of my running these last two months and right now I do not have any races on the horizon.  I am okay with that.  It has been a great 2014 running season for me with lots of huge PRs, but I am happy to put it to rest. My body is finally starting to recover from marathon mode and I am slowly getting my strength back.   I am truly looking forward to adjusting my body a bit to get used to more Crossfit.  I have been steadily increasing my CF days and getting in the groove…now I just need to turn on my inner fury and start going a little harder during workouts.

I do have to admit, in order to not go totally crazy I did make a small little goal starting recently.  Last year I decided I would give up sweets during the holiday season so that I would not get sucked in and wake up 7-12 pounds heavier on New Year’s Day (It’s all muscle right??).   So, because of my last two months of escapades,  I have decided to do that again starting earlier.  NO sweets through the rest of the year.  Only exceptions are a piece of Pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving and Blueberry Coffee cake (tradition) on Christmas.  THAT IS IT.

I am only a few weeks into this and my co coworkers and students already think it is funny to “accidentally” leave candy on my desk or throw chocolate at me while I am making phone calls.  So supportive.  But in all seriousness, I always enjoy a challenge to get back on track.  I am happy to take this break and it makes me feel free, but I also am already starting to feel a little lost and anxious.  Yearning for something to work for again.  But that is just me, I am happiest when I am working towards something.

Stay blessed in the mess! 🙂